I Raised the Beast Well

The beast ran and ran.
A raging anxiety lurked close by just like the moonlight shadow that pursued him. 

Huff, huff.

As he panting heavily, a voice inside speaks out to him.
A voice that connected the past and present was sharply piercing his mind.

“I only need you.”

As if an old fossil came to life, someone’s voice that had been hiding in his innermost self melted and dripped down his mind.

“We can meet again.
So don’t cry.
You’re a good boy, right?”

He heard a voice of an unknown person from a distant past. 

A voice of someone who had to forsake her life because he chose him.
Even at death’s door, with a bloodied body, she spoke softly as she pushed all her remaining divinity into him.

The throbbing pain was squeezing his heart.

Suddenly, Aymon stopped.
His rough breathing echoed through the quiet forest.

“You are going to stay by my side, right?”

At last, he recalled the human’s whisper as she stroked him.
A low voice that was deeply engraved with pain and longing. 

The beast slowly lowered his head. 

Thump, thump. 

A voice that filled up his mind like a hallucination lit up his heart.

***

When did I fall asleep again?

Belinda blinked vacantly.

Just now, she was staring blankly at the door where Aymon left and lying down again.

They said that being pregnant would make one fall asleep all day, and it was especially true to her.
After calling Aymon a foolish cat, she closed her eyes and fell into slumber. 

Rustling on the bed, she raised her aching body only to discover two bright blue eyes. 

“….Aymon?”

When she called him, he, who looked down at her, pulled out a wry face.
Thick vein was bulging over the back of his clenched hands due to unbearable emotions.

Belinda finally smiled lightly.

Ahh, this must be a dream.

She easily concluded that it was a dream.
For Aymon, who wasn’t a black beast but a human, to be around like this.

The eyes that looked down at her painfully were wet under the moonlight.
It was unmistakably a dream, but still a pleasant one regardless.

Belinda slowly stretched her arms toward her mate, whom she met again in a daydream.

“Why are you crying? This is supposed to be a sweet dream.”

I’ve never met you even once in my dream, so you’re supposed to be happy.

Only the blood-soaked Aymon appeared in her dream.
Only the last image of him turning his back on her appeared in her dream.
Each time, she would wake up from her dream with a cold sweat, reaching out her hand. 

But it was different this time.
Aymon was right in front of her.
It was a happy dream where she didn’t want to wake up. 

Soon a solid arm pulled her and embraced her tightly. 

Aymon buried his face on Belinda’s neck and rubbed his lips, arms trembling finely.
As if afraid of getting separated again, he desperately found her and shared a heartfelt embrace.

He faced her with a pleading look as if he was some sort of devout believer of god. 

A hot lump rose from his throat. 

“Breedee.
Breedee.”

So many words were swirling within him, but none of them was able to come out.
If he opened his mouth, he was afraid that these irrepressible emotions would cascade down like a waterfall, so he was barely able to call out her name. 

Pieces of jumbled memories flooded back.
Just like water filled the empty spring, only relief and joy filled him to the brim. 

This body.
It was Belinda’s.

Even though he wandered around the forest as a beast, his throat was always dry of the burning thirst.
He was always filled with confusion as if walking aimlessly through the desolate desert.

Because she wasn’t present in his life.
Because he forgot her like a fool. 

“Aymon?”

Belinda glanced down in disbelief at him, who buried himself in her neck.
Embracing her earnestly, he then nestled in her chest as if collapsing. 

Belinda hugged him and relished herself in the warmth that touched her.
He clung to her and asked to be spoiled  like he did in the past.  

‘Can a dream be this vivid? It feels like Aymon is really back.’

If I just wake up from my dream like this, I don’t think I can handle the overflowing sadness. 

The happiness that she tasted for a moment was so vivid.

Belinda smiled bitterly and swept his hair.
She patted him very gently like soothing a child who trembled in anxiety.

“You know.
Even when I died a long time ago….you have the same expression as the one I saw just now.
You look like you’re about to cry.”

「…….」

“You haven’t changed, my dear cat.”

Belinda recited like a whisper, and soon leaned her cheek against his head.
It was rather sad because of how vivid the touch was. 

She pretended to be alright, but that was something she wanted the most.
She wanted to be hugged by Aymon more than anything else. 

“I couldn’t tell you both in our previous life and this life.
You won’t know unless I express it, but I keep it hidden in my heart.”

「…….」

“I love you, Aymon.
I always loved you when I was Lapyan, and when I met you again in this life.”

Belinda blurted out a confession she couldn’t say before, and hugged him tightly in her chest.

Tears dripped down one by one. 

“You must have a hard time by yourself, right? You must be very lonely.”

Belinda pulled him deeper into her embrace, showing sympathy for Aymon, who wandered alone in his past life. 

Losing him now was nothing compared to what he went through. 

Aymon struggled through a few dreadful reincarnation all by himself.
He had to endure the longing for Belinda until he closed his eyes again in loneliness. 

Hundreds of years ago, Aymon went on a rampage, even going as far as killing the Shinsu and humans all because of her.
Like a fool, she only remembered it now after all this time. 

Even at that time, Belinda, who was born again as a member of the Imperial family, was unable to recognize her true self and caused him to run rampage again after she got killed in an accident.

If she had known beforehand, she’d probably be able to prevent it.
She left her beast to succumb in sorrow and guilt all alone, resulting in him going crazy.
At that time, too, she left him so easily. 

She always took up the role of leaving Aymon.
And it is always Aymon’s role to be left behind.

‘So it’s only right for me to miss you in this life.’

If this was indeed her sin, all she needed to do was to wait until her end came.
It was her bitter share of this life.
The sin she had to pay for pushing him into the depths of loneliness. 

Oh my pitiful cat.
Because of me, you…

But before she could utter her apology inwardly, it was Aymon who whispered an apology first.

“I’m sorry.”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry, so sorry.”

Belinda’s body tensed up.
His voice was too realistic to be a dream.

The hot tears that fell were also very realistic.
Tears welled up on his eyes and it seemed to cut through her heart. 

“It’s my fault for being greedy of you in the first place, that I was helpless when you died, that I died countless times without recognizing you, and forgot everything when I meet you again.”

“…….”

“I’m sorry for dumping everything on you and running away by myself.
Forgive me, Breedee.”

His confession shocks her like a tree caught in a storm, and wreaks havoc in her mind as if it was a battlefield. 

But the sincerity contained in his words prickled Belinda’s heart like a thorn. 

So she grabbed her sinking heart and clenched it painfully.

‘Ah….’

Only then she realized.

It was Aymon.

His tears seeped into her thin nightgown.
Her shoulders are getting wet with hot water.

It wasn’t a dream.

The beast, who had been staring at her with an unfamiliar gaze as if he met her for the first time, turned into her lover and returned to her.

As if pouring out his love, he hugged her and cried in silence.

“Aymon.”

She recited his name in disbelief.

It seemed like an illusion, but the warmth she felt throughout her body was unmistakably his.

It was Aymon.

The precious cat who loved and treasured her more than anyone else.

My companion is back!

“Aymon.
Aymon.”

She repeatedly called her name while sobbing.

Aymon, who raised his body, hugged Belinda tightly in his arms.
With much difficulty, Belinda finally let out a choked out breath. 

His solid arms swept up her trembling back to soothe her.
Each time his big, warm palms grazed her gently, Belinda dropped a tear.

“Why, why…”

Why did you come so late? 

She wanted to be angry at him, but she couldn’t do that because her joy conquered her anger.
She was happy, but she kept crying due to the pain of endless waiting. 

A few months of intense longing.
She believed he would come back, but she also struggled in anxiety of losing him forever. 

But he appeared in front of her again.

She didn’t have to pretend to be strong.
She didn’t have to feign a smile as if everything was alright.
Even if she burst into tears and collapsed, she had someone to lean on. 

“Foolish cat….”

The repressed anger began to seethe. 

So Belinda raised her fist and swung it to his chest.

Aymon carefully wrapped her hand and pushed his fingers between hers.

Upon feeling the overlapping warmth, Belinda shrunk her shoulder and cried.

Uwaaaa-

She cried loudly like a child.
The repressed emotion flooded in as if it just exploded. 

“Why did you come so late? Why…?!”

You don’t even know what I feel while waiting for you.
You don’t even know how much my heart breaks watching you growling at me without remembering anything.

Aymon took in all the pouring resentment and kissed her eyelids. 

“I’m sorry, Breedee.
You must have suffered a lot.
Please forgive me.” 

Along with a gentle kiss, he whispered low.
His confession throughout the night was calm but hot.
Every sentence was accompanied with tears. 

Belinda fell down and grabbed his fingers.
She pulled his fingers close to her and leaned to him as if clinging. 

Watching such Belinda, Aymon embraced her endlessly.  

Only then their cold fingertips began to warm up.

The two were silent.
Her trembling shoulders and occasional sobbing squeeze between the sad silence.  

The two people did not separate until the moon went down and the morning sun came.
As if they didn’t want to be away from each other again.