>Before, I couldn’t even think about revealing it.
I mean, a thing that even Namgung Ryucheong, who was the male lead, couldn’t reveal, how could I even find out about it?
It wasn’t that I wasn’t curious about Father’s death, and that I didn’t feel unfair and angry about it.
However, I knew, that if I was present, I would only become a disturbance to Namgung Ryucheong.
Also the most important thing–
I wanted to live.
And my regressed life.
This time… I wanted to save Father.
***
Father’s and my residence were in contact with each other in a square shape.
As I passed through the courtyard and approached Father’s residence, my heart pounded.
Like this, I wanted to turn back and hide in my residence again.
On the way, I repeatedly stopped my steps several times, but before I knew it, I arrived in front of Father’s door.
‘You can do it, Baekri Yeon.’
I clenched both of my fists tightly and looked sharply at the door.
If someone saw my expression now, they’d say it was like a commander going out to the battlefield.
‘The embarrassment was only for a moment.
You want to save Father, right?’
Father has to be alive for the probability of my chances to live to rise.
Excluding emotion, if it’s the world where even Father, who was realistically one of the martial arts’ most influential person, dies, there was a high probability that my dream of surviving safely couldn’t come true.
‘Baekri Yeon.
You can do it.
By being embarrassed to death, it doesn’t mean you’re really dying!’
After all, the first button was initiated the moment I opened my eyes.
You can do it.
You can do it.
After hypnotizing myself, I closed my eyes tightly and opened them.
As soon as I opened the door carefully, the infusion of medicinal herbs smell poked my nose.
“So, you’ve woken up.”
Father slowly got up from behind the landscape pattern divider screen.
As innocent and cute as possible,
“Fa-the-rrack!”
I screamed.
Before bumping my face on the floor with a thud, the wind blew.
The expected pain didn’t come, so I opened my eyes which were tightly closed.
It was a piece of paper difference between the floor and my nose.
My heart was thumping.
“You have to be careful.”
Father was holding my nape collar as if a cat held its child in its mouth and moved.
It wasn’t a close distance, but there was no telling when he came close.
I rubbed the dorsum of my nose as I looked at the floor.
‘Huaaa, I’m embarrassed! Just what in the world is it? I think I stepped on something and fell, though….
What’s that? A bamboo strip?’
Several small letters written on the bamboo poles that were woven with strings came into my sight.
It was about medicinal herbs.
The bamboo strip wasn’t the only thing rolling on the floor.
From books piled up here and there to a number of medicinal stuff that weren’t tidied, the room was a complete mess.
I looked up and saw Father’s face.
There was a deep shade below his eyes today as well.
‘I guess he stayed up all night again.’
For a few days already, I haven’t seen the light in his residence go out.
Although it wasn’t as much as I who was ill, Father has lost quite a bit of weight in the meantime, too.
Being held by Father danglingly, I stretched my hands out, asking him to hug me.
Father who was hesitating said with a strict face.
“Haven’t I said that you can’t run in a room?!”
“Hehe.”
Father looked at me with a firm face.
But as if I didn’t know anything, I kept stretching out my hand as cute as possible.
“You aren’t going to hug me?”
At Father’s strict face, hesitancy brushed past.
A short conflict.
But the winner was me.
Of course.
Because I’m ill!
Confidently throwing myself in Father’s arms, I hugged his nape.
I felt Father’s body, which flinched in surprise, stiffly harden.
“Ahem.” Clearing his throat, Father looked around the room which there was no one for no reason.
My first goal.
That was becoming closer to Father.
And skinship was the easiest way to narrow the distance between people.
How uncomfortable it was when I was first hugged by Father.
An awkward posture and a stiffly harden body.
He showed practically off that he hadn’t hugged a child before.
Me, too, throughout the life I remembered, I have never been hugged by people called ‘Father’.
Right now is, well…
Even while Father walked fast, he crossed the room very carefully as if worried I might fly away.
“Did you sleep well last night?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re feeling okay?”
“Yes.”
“You mustn’t endure the pain.
And if you have a fever or anything, be sure to tell me.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll have to tell them to serve the infusion of medicinal herbs.”
“Hoo….”
The sigh came out reflexively.
The medicine that Father gave was bitter like hell every time.
In the past, I wailingly threw a tantrum, saying that I couldn’t eat it, and Father forcibly had tried to feed me.
Just like a person who has lived by holding a sword in their entire life, it wasn’t a very kind way.
Just saying, ‘Eat.’ and keeping an eye on me until I drank it.
If I vomited after forcibly drinking it under strict surveillance, they boiled the medicine again, and I had to come back and drink it.
While repeating this, I even held a feeling of resentment against Father.
‘Honestly, it was too much for me.’
This time, there was also a time where I drank it calmly, but my weakened body couldn’t accept the medicine and vomited all of it.
Then this time, Father’s reaction also changed.
It’s that he started spoon-feeding me spoon by spoon, in person!
“How come your efforts are increasingly progressing?”
On Father’s face, which had been stiff all this time to hide his worries, a smile broke briefly.
The look in Father’s eyes which were looking at me was incredibly sweet.
For some reason, for a moment I was so embarrassed that I hid my face in Father’s arms.
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