Three Days of BBQ Fest, no BBQ Consumed: Part II
I quickly realize my nose is literally spraying blood all over the staircase, and shockingly, people are staring. I will give the BBQ Fest staff credit, they got to me quickly, and before I knew it, I was in an ambulance headed to the hospital. The hospital vist was pretty uneventful, as they put 9 stitches into my face. They did rule out a concussion pretty early, as I high five every employee as they rolled me in. What a day though, I guess I learned my lesson for funneling four beers at once–you end up in the hospital wearing a really expensive set of scrubs.
What is worse than a hangover? One that includes a swollen and cut nose, and a knee scrapped so bad you can barely walk. Hands down the most painful shower I’ve ever had was that morning, but I had to get ready for another full day of boozing; I was going to pull off the greatest rally in history.
So we arrive at the tent around 2:30, and of course, news of my evening had spread, and I was already “that guy”, but I am sort of used to it so I pay it no mind. I did run into the girl whose life I saved, and she barely remembered, but was thankful just the same that I kept her from breaking her neck.
Friday was to be the day of days at our tent, as we hired an ice sculptor to carve us a luge for shots that was shaped like a rooster. Now this guy was the consummate showman, he rocked out with his chainsaw to Bon Jovi like few before him ever had. I mean it was really something; I do little justice describing, it was that good.
Once he finishes his Shakespearean performance, the shots start flowing, and when I say flowing I mean like New Orleans Katrina style. As you can tell from the picture above, it was still daylight, but no matter, we had something like 20 milk jugs filled with booze. I guess any lessons learned on Thursday were short lived.
Now taking shots was pretty difficult with a supposedly sterile bandaged nose, but who cares, alcohol is anti-bacterial right? I must have taken 11 or 12 shots from the luge, as well as mixing in the usual assortment of mixed drinks and beers. Seemingly minutes later, it was late again, and I was crushing it on the dance floor, again.
Eventually they started clearing out the park, so it only seemed natural to head downtown, because after all, we were still thirsty. After we hit up Hollywood Rayford’s, I pretty much lost track of the evening and time traveled straight to 9am on Saturday; despite that, I am going to assume we rocked downtown in the same way we rocked BBQ Fest earlier in the day.
Despite feeling like I was knocking on death’s door, I was pretty proud of my Friday rally, so why not keep rocking it into Saturday? So yet again we show up at the tent, but this time we have our bags with us, as we are flying home at about 4pm. We arrive at noon, and figure we have 3 solid hours to make our plane trip fun, so we decide there is nothing better to do on a beautiful day than play flip cup, with leftover shots!
After a few quality hours of that, it was time to find a ride to the airport, preferably in the form of a cab. Now I can’t really remember what happened in route to the street, but somehow we met this black dude who would drive us to the airport for $10, which was pretty much the biggest hiest since the Dutch bought Manhattan for like 4 beaver pelts and some shark teeth, but anyways, it was great fortune for us.
This is pretty much the end of the story, as my buddy and I passed out on the plane. I did make some interesting decisions afterwards, like when I asked his girlfriend to drop me off at a cougar bar, by myself, and just take my luggage home. Yeah for some reason I just couldn’t get enough party that weekend. Oh well, you are only young once, but more importantly, you only get one chance to write an article about BBQ Fest that literally has no talk fo BBQ in it.